Weekend at Zell's
by SexyQuistis
Summary: Zell goes home for the weekend hoping to catch up with some old friends, but their more interested in Ma Dincht ( this actually happened 2 one of my mates and her mum is totally dumb) no disrespect to Ma Dincht, she is the ultimate Independent women!


A WEEKEND AT ZELL'S!

Zell was on his way to his mum's for the weekend. As he hadn't seen her for a few weeks. And he also intended to catch up with some old friends.

Zell pulled his mobile phone from his pocket and rang an old friend of his.

Zell: yo is that Salamander?

Salamander: yup 

Zell: yo Sala, it's me Zell

Salamander: wassup?

Zell: well I'm back in Balamb this weekend and wondered if you and the lad's wanna hang out sometime?

Salamander: sounds cool we're knock for ya later

Zell: see ya then

Salamander: see ya!.

Zell entered his house and greeted his mum with a loving hug.

Zell: hi Ma!

Ma Dincht: hello Zell, you look well, you been changing your under wear daily, and eating all your vegetables

Zell: Ma!

Zell plonked himself down on the sofa turning the T.V on

Zell: Ma I'm expecting some mates could you let them wait for me in the front room

Ma: what mates our those Zell?

Zell: ya know Sala and the lad's

Ma: ah yes what a lovely bunch of boys they where too

Zell: Ma they trashed our house

Ma: yes well, it happens sometimes 

Zell: I'm gonna have a bath now 

Zell ran upstairs. Outside Salamander and his mates where talking

Frank: Zell's old deer's that dim one ain't she?

Salamander: yup, I gotta plan!

Roy: what's that?

Salamander: yo Pat you still got that joint?

Pat: course!

Salamander: right ere's the plan we get the old deer high, she 's gonna be so outta it, so we then help ourselves to whatever we want!

Pat: that's a wicked idea!

Roy: let's do it!

Frank: what about Zell!

Salamander: leave that too me!

Salamander knocked on the door and Ma Dincht answered

Ma Dincht: ohh you're those lovely friends of Zell's any friends of Zell's our friends of mine

Salamander: yeah whatever, can we come in or we gonna freeze our arses of out here

Ma Dincht: of course you can come in

They all pushed past her and barged into the front room and sat down Ma Dincht sat on the side of a chair

Ma Dincht: would you like a cup of tea?

Salamander: yo Biddy, ya smoke?

Ma Dincht: ohhno, no, no, it's very bad for you

Frank: like I totally agree so I smoke these

Frank pulls a joint from his pocket

Salamander: its herbal shit great for your health makes ya feel great puts ya on a real high

Pat: that's right try some?

Ma Dincht: why not herbal can't be bad can it

She takes the joint from there hands. Just then Zell rans down stairs

Zell:Ma! Your smoking!

Ma Dincht: no it's herbal actually 

Roy: calm down why don't ya go get some C.D's

A few minutes later Ma Dincht has finshed the joint and feeling rather happy.

Salamander: Ma biddy do ya mind if we trash your house and nick a few bit's and pieces 

Ma Dincht: no of course not, after all isn't that what friends are for?

Roy: that's right biddy

Slamander and his cronies start trashing the house while Ma Dincht danced around her house happily singing.

Ma Dincht: come on boys lets dance!

Ma Dincht grabbed hold of Frank and started dancing with him

Frank: please someone help! 

Ma Dincht: tell me Frankie have you ever seen a women naked ?

Frank: if your offering I don't want to know!

Ma Dincht: that's not what Zell's last friend said

Frank: help she's gonna rape me !

Salamander: you can't even deal wit an old biddy, what kind of man are you?

Ma Dincht began singing again and that was enough for any human to take, Pat took matters into his own hands and smacked her one.

Pat: shut it! Damn biddy!

Roy started loading his bag with C.D's 

Roy: yuck Sisqo! He's a fucking gay twat 

Frank: tell me about it what kinda man has his belly button pierced? 

Roy: where's that baseball bat 

Roy starts smacking it with hard and fast smacks resulting in it laying on the floor in small pieces, Roy then spits on it 

Salamander: come on guy's let's hit the road!

Pat: see ya Ma Dincht!

Ma Dincht: yes it was lovely seeing you again; make sure you pop around again soon

Roy: dumb cow I've seen more intelligence in a peanut!

They left the house 

Pat: did somebody pick up that Sisqo C.D?

Salamander: what you like that Fucker?

Pat: yeah me and him got a thing going on, ya know?

Salamander: quick get him he's a Sisqo lover

Roy pull's out his baseball bat and starts hitting over the head until he was dead

Salamander: Frank get the god damn car 

Frank got the car and they ran over him a few times leaving him mangled on the pavement.

Meanwhile Zell walks into his front room 

Zell: shit Ma what's happened?

Ma Dincht: I had a few friends over, ever so lovely, polite a wish you would be more like them Zell

Zell: our house, it's..it's wrecked! This is the second time now Ma it's getting out of hand!

Ma Dincht: don't you ever speak to me like that now get to your room and don't come down to you'll sorry!

Zell: sorry?

Ma Dincht looks aound the trashed front room

Ma Dincht: have you made this mess Zell

Zell: Ma it was those dick heads

Ma Dincht: how dare you swear at me those boy's would never do such a thing. Now you and me are going to the bathroom and you shall have your mouth washed out with soap! 

Zell: get lost! How dumb are you them shit heads have robbed and trashed our house and you like them?

Zell walked out his front door to see the mangled body

Zell: yuck!

Just them Ma Dincht came running out grabbed him by the ear and pulled him to the bathroom

Ma Dincht: why don't you be more like those boy's it's people like YOU! That let our society down!


End file.
